Dildos are great! Someone else finding your dildo isn’t…
Make sure yours is never discovered again with this simple guide to hiding (and storing) your dildos. Learn how to store your dildo properly, learn some of our top hiding spots, and hear where the Lovegasm staff hid their dildos!
Proper Storage
Before we discuss hiding spots, we need to discuss storage. Too many people just throw their sex toys in a drawer or box and forget about them!
Doing this can be bad for a couple of reasons. First of all, you could damage your dildo! It might get squashed, scratched or even snapped as you throw other objects into the same place.
Second, leaving sex toys uncovered can give bacteria and dust a chance to build up on the surface. Then the next time you try and use it, you could be in for a nasty surprise.
Similarly, if you store lots of sex toys in the same place, there’s a chance they even damage each other. Even silicone, which is usually thought of as a great material, can react with other silicone toys and slowly start to melt.
To keep your toys in tip top condition, we have one, simple piece of advice:
Store each toy separately in a ziploc bag or cotton pouch.
Oh, and clean them before you put them away… Please?
Top Secret Hiding Spots
Alright, so you’ve got it in it’s own little baggie, and you need a place to stash it so your parents, children, or roommates don’t find it. Where do you put it?
For maximum security, our top hiding spot is behind a lock. This could either be in a safe or lockbox. Either way, if you’ve got the key there’s no chance of someone unexpectedly stumbling upon it.
Of course, we don’t all have a safe lying around. Especially since most people reading this will be in shared houses. So where else is good?
The next two hiding places on our list are still great picks, where it’s very unlikely your dildo will be found. These are suitcases, and inside your socks.
Suitcases are great because nobody really looks in them unless they’re going on holiday. So as long as you don’t have a trip coming up soon, it’s unlikely anyone will even think to look in there. It's also perfect for longer toys, like double dildos, since suitcases are large and spacious.
Inside your socks is similar. Not only is it unlikely that someone will go through your sock drawer, but it’s even less likely that they’ll start unrolling each pair just to see what’s inside. Although maybe this isn’t the best advice if someone else does your washing for you!
Less Obvious Hiding Spots
If our top secret spots aren’t ideal for you, then there’s still plenty of options. There’s a little more chance that your dildo will be discovered in one of these places, but it’s still better than leaving it out in the open!
- In a drawer. Preferably one that doesn’t get used that much.
- In or under your bed. That’s where you use it after all!
- Underneath furniture. Just make sure to move it if someone is on a cleaning spree.
- In a storage cube. These usually stack, so you can put it in the bottom cube and have more time to intervene before someone finds it.
- In a shoebox. Seriously how often have you gone through someone else’s shoebox?
- In a poster tube. These are great options as they’re discreet, the right shape, and quite easy to hide out of sight.
- In a coat pocket inside your closet. Especially good if it’s a coat you don’t wear often.
Whichever hiding spot you choose, make sure you think about your own circumstances too! Underneath the furniture might seem like a great idea, until you remember your parents hoover your room once a week. Similarly, a coat pocket might be a good idea, unless your roommate likes to borrow your clothes!
Ultimately, the key here is to find a hiding spot that suits the size of your sex toys. If you own a large dildo, a high shelf or hidden compartment can make an excellent stash spot. Obviously because of their size, massive dildos need a larger hiding spot, such as an unused box or a suitcase. Your hiding options are considerable much wider if you are using a mini dildo —heck, as long as it's in a plastic bag or a cotton pouch, you might even fit it inside an old shoe!
Additional Alternatives
Still want more? Well we asked around the Lovegasm staff to see where they used to hide their sex toys. Here’s what they had to say:
“I cut a hole in the back of this old, worn-down teddy bear and stored my very first dildo in there. I had a big basket of stuffed animals that I didn't play with anymore, they just like, sat in my bedroom, and most of them were so torn and grungy and falling apart that my mom never bothered cleaning them. So she never had the slightest idea what was really in there!”
“I put mine in the box with my tampons. My mom preferred pads, and I only had brothers, so it was like, the one place in the house that nobody ever looked except me. It was a tiny little bullet thing, so it was pretty much the same size and shape as the rest of the tampons.
At first I used to take extra care and wrapped it up in an old wrapper, so nobody would notice the different color, but eventually I realized nobody was looking and just threw it back in the box after I used it”
“My best friend in high school smoked a lot of pot and she hid it in these boxes that were shaped like fake books that you could put on your bookshelf, but they were hollow inside for storing stuff
I just took one of hers one day and put my dildo in it and put it on my shelf. She had so many I don't think she ever noticed”
“One of my toys is a double-ended dildo and it was a bit tricky to hide because of its size. I found an old and long boot box in the closet and hid the toy there.
The box was a perfect length and no one ever questioned why I still kept those outdated boots.”
“When I went off to college, I was really into movies so I brought all these movie posters to hang in my dorm room. After I had put them all up, I just put my dildo inside the empty poster tube.”
“I had this tentacle dildo, which was challenging to hide because of its elaborate shape. I had to put it in a shoebox and shoved it under my bed afterwards, amongst my other shoeboxes.
I've hidden my dildos like that ever since. Someone nosy enough to go through those boxes will be surprised once they find a monster dildo or a dragon dildo inside.”
“At first, I put it inside one of the water bottles that I used when I went running. But one day I was running with my friend, and she picked up the bottle and was like, "why is this so heavy?".
I had to come up with an excuse really fast and I just said that I must have accidentally put it in the freezer overnight and the water had frozen.
I don't think she believed me, but at least she didn't open the bottle to check. I moved it to my bedroom after that, and put it in a drawer - I could never trust the water bottle again after that! I was too scared!”
“I have quite a collection of dildos: they’re all animal-shaped! Dog dildos, wolf dildos—as long as they look like the penis of a canine, I try to add them to my collection. But I don’t want my friends to mistake me to be into bestiality (I only really like knotted and dog-shaped dildos because of the stimulation I get from their slightly pointed heads) so I keep them inside my closet.
My closet is almost as tall as the ceiling so I just put them on the highest compartment and push them as far to the back as possible, so not even a nosy K9 neighbor can discover my secret. ”
“Oh, man, I had like, THE most elaborate setup, you'll never believe this. So I opened up the back of my computer - no, not the monitor, the computer itself, that was when computers were like, really big and bulky and took up the entire space under your desk.
So I opened up the panel in the back, where all these wires were, and put my dildo inside in a black bag so it wouldn't show up in the dark. And then I only screwed one of the screws back in, so I could like, reach inside the hole and grab the dildo without having to unscrew the whole thing again.
But I was still scared so I put this big sign on it, that said like, DON'T TOUCH OR ELSE, because I was a teenager and I thought my parents would actually listen to stupid threats like that.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they found it, or at least, they knew I was hiding something back there. They were probably just glad it wasn't beer or weed, now that I think about it.”
It’s Really Easy to Keep your Lube Discreet, Too!
If your setup needs to be discreet, then there’s a good chance you’ll want to hide your lube as well. Luckily, this is even simpler than hiding a sex toy!
A lot of lubricants come in small, un-marked pouches, so it’s as easy as taking them out of the box they came in and putting them somewhere out of sight. Just make sure you remember what’s in them.
If you have a bottle of lubricant, then sometimes taking the label off is enough to throw off any unwanted attention. If anyone does ask, you can say it’s hair gel or hand cream.
For the ultimate hiding spot though, take a finished bottle of something like shampoo or shower gel and clean it out. Then transfer your lube out of the original bottle into this one. Don’t put it in the usual place though, or someone might end up trying to wash their hair with your lube!
So now you know the best places to hide your dildo, all you need now is the dildo! Head over to our full collection and find exciting selections to enhance your bedroom play. Whether it's the softness of a silicone dildo you prefer or the firmness of a glass dildo, choose your favorite today!
