“It won’t fit!”
Those three words might bring a smug grin onto the face of many young men, but trying to fit something particularly large into your vagina can be a real issue.
So what are you supposed to do if you’re just too tight, and your brand new dildo won’t fit?
The best way to enjoy any sexual activity is to be in the mood. Being turned on helps you relax both mentally and physically which, in turn, helps you fit a big or very small dildo in, but also actually enjoy it. Starting small with a finger and clitoral stimulation can make it easier to fit a big toy in, and lube is always a great way to make sure any toy can glide in easily.
You Aren’t Too Tight - Learning to Relax
Let’s start by dispelling a rather large myth. You probably aren’t “too tight”. The vagina, by design, expands and stretches when you become aroused, allowing penises or sex toys to fit in easily. It’s easy to forget just how much the vagina can stretch, for example during childbirth.
There are some medical conditions, such as Vaginismus, which can cause the muscles of the vagina to tense up and prevent penetration. If you suffer from this then it’s definitely worth seeing a doctor to help. For most women though, simply being more aroused will usually do the trick.
Is It Dangerous to Force a Dildo In?
We’re all pretty busy these days, so finding time for a large masturbation session can be difficult. Can’t you just force the dildo in?
Well, you can (and some women are into this kind of penetration), but generally we don’t advise it. Forcing a dildo in while not properly aroused can cause a lot of friction and pain. In the worst case, it could even lead to some tearing of the delicate skin in and around the vagina.
Choosing the right dildo to begin with can also help you avoid any discomfort. An inflatable dildo, for example, allows you to control the size until you're comfortable (inflatable sex toys are generally great for training). huge dildos are only for those with experience and are looking for extreme sensations so consider a small dildo or any dildo for beginners if you prefer a smaller girth. And when it comes to material, choose between a glass dildo for smoothness and hardness or a silicone dildo for squishiness and flexibility.
There are additional specifications you might want to consider and let's just touch on them a little bit. Products like the double penetration dildo or double-sided dildo allow simultaneous vaginal and anal stimulation if you're looking for something that specific. You can also try the squirting dildo which offers a realistic ejaculation experience for those desiring authenticity.
But it’s all up to you. Using a dildo should be straightforward and feel good, not painful, so if it feels good to you to use simple ones and just force them in then by all means go ahead! Just make sure you listen to your body and if something feels off then stop.
Top 7 Tips for Getting That Girthy Dildo Where It Feels Great!
So, what’s the best way to get more relaxed and aroused so the dildo can go where you want it to? Here’s a few tips:
- Start smaller! Consider picking up a thin dildo or a beginner dildo in a smaller size to start off your sessions, and then work your way up to extra long dildos.
- Take your time. Men might be lucky enough to force out a cheeky wank in a few minutes, but women aren’t as lucky. Take them time to get yourself in the mood with a bubble bath, read a steamy novel, watch a film with lots of sex scenes. Get yourself nice and horny before you start!
- Lubricate! If you’re having trouble with any of your sex toys then lubrication should always be your first port of call. Make sure to use plenty on both the dildo, and your vagina, and don’t be afraid to add more while playing. For ass play, use anal dildo with a generous amount of lube as the anus doesn't self-lubricate.
- Find a comfortable position. It’s much easier to relax if you’re in a position that’s comfortable and makes it easy to manipulate the dildo.
- Start with other play. Getting yourself going with a vibrator or even your fingers can be a good way of arousing yourself before trying to insert a dildo.
- Don’t go for insertion straight away. Gently stroke your clitoris with the tip of the dildo. Rub small circles around the entrance. Use the toy to tease and stimulate yourself before gently sliding it in.
- Listen to your body. If you’re paying attention, then you’ll know when it’s time to start the penetration.
- Use different depths and angles. You don’t have to take the entire dildo the first time you use it. Try an inch or two, change the angle, use different amounts of pressure. Explore your body with your toys and find what you enjoy.
Finding the Right Position
We mentioned it as one of our tips, but finding the right position can make using your dildo much, much easier. Most women will start with the standard “lying on your back” missionary position, but depending on your body shape and flexibility even this simple position can be difficult.
For complete beginners, we recommend doggy style, with a slightly arched back. Moving a dildo in this position is very easy, and being on your hands and knees means you can move without straining or stretching too much. It also helps you target specific spots like the G-spot more easily.
Another alternative if you find it difficult to do the back and forth motion with your arms (or you’re not very rhythmic) is to instead ride your dildo. You can hold it in place, usually against a flat surface, and ride it in a cowgirl position.
If you have a suction cup dildo, you can position it basically anywhere, and control all the action with your body. This can be a great solution, as you can completely focus on the sensations and feelings you get from using the dildo, rather than trying to control it with your hands.
How Do I Choose the Right Dildo?
Choosing the right dildo is a topic that we could spend hours discussing, but on this page we’re mainly focused on making sure your dildo fits so we’ll keep this brief.
If you’re a complete beginner, start off with small and thin dildo. A 3 inch dildo will be a good length to start or you may try to choose a dildo that looks similar in shape and size to the kind of penis you’re used to being penetrated by. This keeps things as natural as possible while you learn the ropes.
If orgasming and arousal is something you find challenging, then consider a dildo with extra features to increase your pleasure. Vibrations, ridges and ribbed surfaces, or curves are all small changes that can make it easier for your dildo to hit the right spot, which in turn makes it easier to get into your body.
If you’re already very experienced using big dildos, and looking for a challenge, then a larger, thicker dildo is ideal. Fantasy or huge monster dildos are the ultimate test and may take a little extra work to achieve penetration, but the pleasure can be well worth it! But if monster sex toys don't do it for you, consider a cervix glass wand for a deeper and more intense stimulation.
Anal Training for Dildos
We’ve mainly focused on the vagina during this article, but there’s also plenty of people who like to use dildos during anal play. Just like vaginal penetration, there’s often times when a dildo won’t go in your butt either!
Most of the advice above is just as valid for anal penetration (with extra emphasis on the lube), but you should place extra emphasis on building up to larger and larger toys.
The anus is naturally less elastic than the vagina, and will tighten back up between uses, so even if you’re an experienced anal user you shouldn’t jump straight into the largest dildos in your collection.
Start with smaller toys, like butt plugs, take it slow, and increase the size gradually. Making circular motions as you insert any toy can help loosen up the anal muscles, and make it easier to move onto larger ones.
Most importantly, never force a dildo into your anus. The muscles and skin inside don’t lubricate themselves the same way a vagina does, so you’re almost guaranteed to experience some tearing or skin damage if you do.
Next Time Your Dildo Won’t Go In, Don’t Worry!
Take a deep breath, have another read of this page, and try out some of our tips. Even if it still won’t go in, just take a break and try again later. You’ll be back to enjoying all the pleasure dildos have to offer before you know it!
